Life was a whirlwind the second half of the school year when I went from subbing to teaching full-time at the semester. I'm just now getting caught up on life and processing all that has happened in these last sixth months.
The story of how this job dropped into my lap is pretty crazy and was very much a clear message from God. I told Greg back in November that I was thinking that maybe the next school year was when I should try to go back to teaching. Kari would be heading to college, and it might be about the right timing. I told him I thought I'd mention it to of the assistant principals at Barlow the next time I subbed there. Well, that next week I was subbing for Pate and went downstairs before school and talked with the assistant principal who had asked me twice before if I was interested in working full-time and doing a long-term sub job. I told her I was thinking of coming back to teaching language arts full time and to please keep me in mind if she hears about any opportunities. She said she would, and I thanked her and went back upstairs. Two hours later, a different assistant principal came in, during the prep period, sat down and asked if I'd be interested in taking over for a teacher who had decided to retire at the semester. I was floored. I told him I was interested and would talk with my husband and get back to him soon. I just couldn't believe it! It would be teaching juniors and seniors, regular English classes.
Greg and I talked about it, prayed about it, and decided this was an answer to the prayers I've been praying for years about when it would be the right time to go back to teaching full-time. I'd had to consider it back in the fall when I started the year as the 6th grade science teacher. It became clear within the first three weeks, that particular job was not for me. I think that 5 week experience, challenging as it was, reminded me that I love teaching. I love interacting with students, developing those relationships, and watching them learn and grow. If it had been a 6th grade language arts position, I probably would have stayed. Science is not my field, though, and it wasn't worth working myself to death for something I didn't want to do long-term.
So, I said yes, and started teaching at the end of January. I had no curriculum guide, no plans, no requirements other than including an argument research paper and getting the classrooms under control after a chaotic fall semester. I worked my tail off, had absolutely no work/home-life balance, loved being back in my own classroom, loved being at the same school as my kids, and hated making mistakes, dealing with horrible parents, and feeling like I wasn't good enough and was behind. I will never regret the years I stayed home with my kids, and I am glad I chose to put my career on hold. It was absolutely the right decision for our family. Going back after 20 years off, though, makes for a steep learning curve! Subbing for the last 7 years helped me know what I was getting into, helped in a lot of ways, really, but there is just so much I have to learn and catch up on! I'm a better teacher as a result of having my own kids and having this life experience, but boy is it difficult working full-time and trying to be the wife, mom, and friend you want to be.
Greg stepped up in big ways at home to make this work for us, and we made some other changes that made this doable. He often made dinner, did laundry, and took care of things that I always used to do, like signing all the back to school papers the kids bring home, helping kids with homework, and taking time off to going to kids' events during the day like the spelling bee and 5th grade promotion. Grandparents have helped a ton this year, too, which has been amazing. We also hired a housecleaner to come every other week--best decision ever! The family does not love the night-before prep work of picking up, but I love coming home to a clean house. It's a myth that women can "do it all," work full-time, clean, cook, do laundry, and take care of everything at home. Having my house cleaned saved my sanity. I feel stressed and upset when the house is messy and dirty and much more relaxed when it's clean. I just didn't have the time to keep up with the cleaning on top of everything else. I worked most evenings and weekends this semester. I'm hoping to get better about keeping more boundaries at home, but until I've got some experience (and lesson plans prepared that I can tweak and reuse), life is going to be a bit crazy.
I did have to apply and interview for the job again this spring, as my position was temporary. I was encouraged to apply by my admin and thought I'd have a good chance of getting the job, and then I was told cuts at the middle school meant it was no longer available. I was disappointed but willing to wait and see what else happened. I hadn't lost hope. Then the teacher from the middle school decided to take a position at a different middle school, and it was open to me again. I interviewed and then found out it was down to me and one other person. They offered the job to the other person. That was a very sad day. It was the Friday before Mother's Day. I came home sobbing. I was so sad. Sweet Grant came up to me, crying and holding out a wrapped gift and said, "I was going to wait to give it to you on Sunday, but I think you need it now!" My family was sad for me, my friends were sad and indignant, and many coworkers also gave me their support. That next week was a very long, hard work week. And then on Friday, I got called into my admin's office, and he offered me the job! The other guy (from Chicago) turned it down, and it was mine if I wanted it. I wanted it! I was stunned and so very happy. I really felt like I was supposed to be at Barlow, that this was God's plan. It just didn't make any sense to me why he would have me do this all semester and not let me continue! I still don't know why he allowed it to be a "no" at first, but I'm thankful he turned it into a yes. I'm excited to start the year out in my own classroom with my own set of rules and expectations and not have to undo what someone else has done. To have a fresh start will be amazing.
Here's the before and afters of my classroom. I tried to make it cute, clean, and inviting. No huge changes, but the students noticed and liked it.
