Joel, Aubrey, and Grant's first day was the day after Labor Day. Kari's first day wasn't until the following day. Grant was only at school for a few hours, as it was a "screening" day for the kindergartners with only 7 or 8 kids on each day that first week. His day just happened to be the first day.
They were all ready to go and excited.
It was right after this photo, right after I said good-bye to Grant, and he gave me an extra long hug, that the tears started coming. All of a sudden, I was overwhelmed with emotion and made a quick exit so he wouldn't see me crying. I pulled it together enough to go make sure Aubrey was settled in her class and peeked in on Joel. His class had already started, though. Those big 5th graders don't need their parents much anymore on that first day of school. I kept my head down as I exited the school, trying to keep myself together, and then completely lost it when I got to the car. I drove home, sobbing and continued to cry for the next 45 minutes.
The plan was to take Kari to go hang out with her friends for the morning, since they all had one more day before school started. She was ready to go when I got back from the elementary school, so we drove over to the Millers. Christine took one look at the sobbing mess that I was, pulled me inside, settled me on the couch with some tissue and a blanket, and let me cry. That's a good friend, right there.
I don't do change very well, and this is a BIG change. It's the end of an era for me. I've been home with little kids for 12 1/2 years, and now that time has come to an end. I know there will be many wonderful things about this next phase of life, and I really do think I'm going to love this next season, but I loved being a stay-at-home mom. Yes, there were many difficult aspects, and yes, there were some really hard days (months and years), but there were also many precious, wonderful times, too, that I know I'm going to miss. I had to mourn for a bit before I could move on. I just didn't anticipate it coming on so quickly and being quite that dramatic and overwhelming! I eventually quit blubbering and got myself under control, and then Christine and I took Kari, Ellie, and Kylee to the new coffee shop down the road for a treat. We even ran into their good friend, Katelin, and some other friends which was super fun.
At 1pm I went back to the school for the parent meeting in Grant's classroom and to pick him up. He was cheerful and excited, just as I had left him. I heard later, though, that a naughty boy had called him a "toilet poopy head." Poor little guy had tears in his eyes when he told me. We had to talk about what to do when someone is unkind and how to handle situations like that. He felt better the next week on his "real" first day of school, because that same boy got in trouble all day long. :)
The first day of 7th grade for Kari was fairly low-stress, compared to her first day of 6th grade last year. She walked into school with her friends, confident in where she was going and comfortable heading back to the same school. I didn't worry too much about her day. She's an old pro at this middle school thing.
This was the first day ALL four kids went to school for the first time. I literally had to breathe deeply when I dropped off the younger three and watched them walk into school together. My baby was going to school with the big kids. It was comforting to know he had his siblings there with him, but oh.my.goodness. My heart was racing as I drove home. I didn't cry, just teared up a little and wondered what in the world I was going to do with my day.
I'm sure I'll settle into more of a steady routine and get some balance soon. I've felt a little crazy this past week. I'm seeing some benefits already, though, to all the kids being in school all day. Errands are much more efficient by myself. I really can get a lot more done than I could before when Grant was home with me. I finished the book I was reading one afternoon, just because I could. And today, I was sick, like really sick, up-half-the-night-in-the-bathroom kind of sick, and I was able to rest on the couch and do nothing all day with no little ones needing my care and attention. I may have been miserable, but at least I was alone in my misery and didn't have to worry about taking care of anyone else! Greg teased me, saying I finally got a day to myself like I've been wanting. This wasn't exactly the kind of day I had in mind. :) Tomorrow I'm going to an orientation to become a substitute teacher. I'm not sure when I'll start subbing, but I'm thinking about it and getting ready to get my feet wet in the working world once again. The plan was to start after Christmas. We'll see if I wait that long!
